


Up To The Last

by solgyu



Category: TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: M/M, Underage drinking maybe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-02
Updated: 2019-07-02
Packaged: 2020-06-02 13:46:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19442644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/solgyu/pseuds/solgyu
Summary: Taehyun writes a letter to every boy who became a part of his life—from the very first person who mattered, up to the last.Inspired by the novel/movie To All The Boys I've Loved Before





	Up To The Last

**Author's Note:**

> This is a short fic but yes, it took me hours to finish this. Maybe because I wanted my first fic to feel right? Lmao. Anyway please enjoy!

June 22, 2013

To HueningKai,

It took one wrong spin for me to fall down on the floor, and took one look for you to see that I fell badly. Then there you were, walking towards my direction, looking ever so perfect when you held out your hand for you to help me. Of course me, being the awkward me, I waved my hand dismissively as I got up on my own. And of course you, being the ever so persistent you, you asked me why I didn't accept your hand. 

Basically, that's where it all began.

Each day we spent together was so much fun, minus the fact that you still kept on asking why I didn't accept your hand that day. It was kinda annoying to me because I always fought the urge to tell you that the reason why I didn't hold on to you so I can stand up is that because you're my crush. Physical contact with my crush is something I really can't handle at a young age. I'd probably be a blushing mess that day if I ever accepted your hand. 

Until things grew beautifully between the two of us. I didn't confess but you did. Sometimes, I wonder what did I ever do to have my crush like me back.

We were really getting into that stage, whatever that stage is, we were so close to feeling it at a young age. 

But one day I found out that you started dating my bestfriend. 

Did you know how much that hurt? Did you grow tired of waiting for me? Well, I'm sorry, HueningKai. I'm sorry it took long enough for me to realize that you weren't just my crush, that I feel way too deep.

We were young back then so I truly understand now why you and I couldn't be. There's actually more to life, HueningKai. There's more for us to learn during our younger days and I just hope you grew more in all aspects.

August 30, 2015

To Yeonjun,

You were my very reason to everything. The reason to chase my dreams, the reason to keep on being positive, the reason to understand more in life, and the reason why I understood that there are times where we can't have everything we ever wanted in our entire life.

Supressing my smile in the middle of the night has always been something that was hard for me. I remember how I have to bite into my plushie just so I can stop myself from smiling too much because it's half past midnight and we're still talking about the most random thing on Earth.

I also remember how I always find my time to pass by your room during lunch break. There was that feeling of contentment everytime I see you looking by your classroom's window and then lightly smiling at me before anyone sees us.

That's all that we can be, all that I can get from you, and all that we can ever do. Liking you and you liking me while you were dating someone isn't really ideal. It will never be ideal. 

This is the very reason why I understood that I can't have everything I want. You were one of them, but you already belonged to someone else. And I respect that… I truly accepted that.

I saw you in our campus the other day and the two of you are still together. That's a good sign. Please keep on going strong and never… don't you ever do the mistake we once have done. Don't repeat it. It's a learning experience.

September 13, 2018

To Soobin,

I clearly remember how drunk you were while dancing to Nicki Minaj and Bebe Rexha's No Broken Hearts. We were in a club and your hands were up in the air while holding an empty red cup as you just did a bottoms up in the middle of the dancefloor. 

If you would look into it, it beats the actual lyrics of the song you were singing that night: no broken hearts in the club, no tears in the club, 'cause we gon' get it poppin' tonight.

It took a few seconds for me to realize that you stopped dancing and that you started crying your heart out even when the place was so crowded. Could you blame me that night? I was a little tipsy and my eyes were on you. God, you look so enchanting looking all messed up, but the tears ruined you.

I do not regret that I came to you and asked you to grab some ice cream so you can calm down. I do not regret driving us to the nearest park so you can shout how much it hurts to be replaced. I do not regret offering myself as a friend you can rely to when you can't handle things anymore. I just plainly do not regret everything that is related to you, Soobin.

But I'm really, really, really and wholeheartedly sorry that I chose to leave you along the process of moving on to your ex. My heart just couldn't handle how I was just a new notch on your belt. I hated how I would just open my arms so you can cry on me everytime it gets rough for you. I hated how it will always be him.

It will never be me, right, Soobin? Your heart would always yearn for him… cry for him… but never for me, right?

Are you feeling better now? I hope so, Soobin. I hope you're happy despite of suddenly cutting ties. 

It ruined me to see you still ruined after months of your breakup. It ruined me to know that after my countless attempt of fixing you, you are still that ruined. 

I'm sorry I had to leave before I reach the point of being too ruined for you. I just hope you're okay now. I hope you're happy.

July 1, 2019

To Beomgyu,

You punk. You asshole. You brat. I hate how you stepped into my life in the baddest way possible. 

Do you remember when I stepped between a fight between you and the guy you were fighting with? I saw you were wearing our University's uniform and the first thing that popped in my head was to pull you out of the fight. Getting suspended in the kind of University we are in will be hard for you, that's why I did it.

That day, instead of thanking me because the guy who was about to punch you backed away, you got mad at me because you weren't able to punch him. You shouted at me, telling me that your fist way way too hot and ready to land on someone's face so I suggested something stupid: that you should punch me instead so you can let your anger out. 

But goddamnit, Choi Beomgyu, all you ever said when I suggested that is that you can't punch someone with a pretty face like me. God, my cheeks were burning that time.

Unfortunately, someone saw what happened earlier that day which is why we had to do a one day community service. 

Can you believe that, Gyu? One day was enough for me to realize that you're more than just the rumor which was spreading around the campus. And every day that passes by, I saw how you really are… and I love you for that. 

Let's admit it, you're still a bit of a punk, you can still be an asshole sometimes, and you're still a brat but hey, at least you got me. At least I loved you despite of that. 

As I'm writing this letter, you're right infront of me. You're writing a song with me infront of you because you told me I'm your muse to every music you will write in your entire life. And I can see how you play with my free hand. Who would've thought that a guy like you would be this clingy and sweet?

My baby boy, I love you for being you. No matter how bad you can get, I will always be here. I will always be your muse to every song, your reason to change, your love as we grow up, and your reason to never break.

I love you, Choi Beomgyu. From today until infinity

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on Twitter: gyuinara


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